Now, as I type this, a year has gone by and I have to smile remembering what my chance encounter with Lady Nicola's homepage has led to. I am sitting here with a plug filling me, and that very plug has been there for more than 24 hours. At last 3 whole days of the last week I spent plugged. I was granted one ruined orgasm 4 weeks ago, the last orgasm prior to that dates back to October. And while I therefore basically am a desperate, horny and frustrated wreck, some insane part of me could not help but plead for my Lady to deny me till I may finally kneel at Her feet (which is a rather masochistic plea, taken that currently the Atlantic Ocean is separating us...). My finger- and toenails are painted a bright pink, and tomorrow morning I will go to a public pool like this and swim a few lanes (and yes, the plug will stay inside me for that as well).
I have also on my own free will put tabasco sauce into condoms and put them on. Oh, and did you get the impression that I am rather critical of moneyslavery? Well, during the last 12 months I have given about ¼ of my income to Lady Nicola, and I regularly catch myself wishing I could give even more. I still have not met Mistress in person. She does not blackmail me, and I would lie if I said that I am not doing every single thing she wants me to do on my own free will. I would also lie if I said I am not thoroughly enjoying, even craving the painful, humiliating and sometimes downright degrading things She has me do. And the above list is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to what I have done for my Mistress.
Had someone told me of the things I am doing now ten years ago, I would have laughed. Several times I honestly thought I had reached my limits, and every single time I was proven wrong. More than once the pain has reached levels that were not at all arousing for me anymore, and when I reflect on the things I have done as part of our relationship I sometimes ask myself: „How could this happen? Why have you just done this?“ And the answer is really very simple: Because I want my Mistress to smile, because I want to show her just how far I am willing to go for her. Because I know my suffering and my conscious self-degradation please her and arouse her. Because in my eyes, Lady Nicola is more than worth all of that.